Meet Molly

With our doula, Molly
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

This is me with Molly, our doula. She's going to be supporting Jude and I in the labor and delivery process come the big day. The word "doula" comes from ancient Greek meaning "woman of service" but has evolved to now refer to a woman trained and experienced in childbirth. Basically, her job is to "mother the mother". She provides physical, emotional, and informational support to both the mom and dad during labor, delivery and in the immediate postpartum period. Studies show that when doulas are present at birth, women have shorter labors, fewer medical interventions, fewer cesareans, and healthier babies.

Thankfully (depending on how you look at it), because of our measly grad student stipends, we qualify for free doula services through Doulas Care. But I actually know Molly from school- she's a fellow grad student and we even took a class together a couple of years ago. She's just wonderful- warm, funny, and so generous in helping to demystify some of the unknowns coming our way. Another reason why Jude and I are opting to have a doula present is also just as a source of comfort and support, especially since our parents will probably not be with us (my parents are arriving the week after Baby's EED). We think that having a non-medical personnel there who knows us personally and not just as a patient and her partner will really help to ease much of the anxiety, not just for me, but also for Jude. This is as much of a life-changing experience for him as it is for me and whatever we can do to reduce extraneous distress or pressure either one of us might feel will definitely be helpful. While the doctors and nurses are there to respond to the medical aspect of the process, childbirth is also a profoundly emotional and spiritual experience, and we believe that having Molly there will help us appreciate that dimension a little better.

We've heard from friends who've had a doula with them that it's just one of the best decisions they made, especially when it's their first time- information on the procedures to expect, clarification of medical terminology, massages when you need it, running out for ice-chips so that dad can be by mom's side, suggestions for different birthing positions, advice/advocacy when medical personnel suggest non-necessary procedures, that extra encouragement during labor, etc. We've only met with Molly "officially" as our doula twice and she's already been such a wonderful source of comfort and assurance; we're certain that her presence by our sides come some time late August will be more even more invaluable :)

A baby week

Two nights ago, I dreamt of Baby. I dreamt of her birth-- unsurprisingly, I didn't dream of the pain involved (I think my mind is subconsciously blocking out that part of the process)-- and how she looks- a full head of hair and huge eyes :) In my dream, she cried a lot and was *very* pink... It was an extremely vivid dream, which is why I still have a mental picture of it in my head today. I think my mind is responding to what is shaping up to be a baby-filled week for us: starting with our tour of the Birth Center last evening, we have our first infant care class scheduled for tonight, our final ultrasound tomorrow, and on Friday, we're meeting with our doula, Molly, to go through our birth plan.

The tour of the Birthing Center at the C. S. Mott Children's and Women's Hospital was both exhilarating but also a little unnerving. Walking around the hospital and being acquainted with the facilities made me a tad nervous as I envisioned ourselves in one of the birthing rooms sometime within the next two months. Having said that, it has always been comforting for us to know that Mott's is one of the best pediatric and women's hospital in the country and I'm sure we'll be well taken care of in every way. I love the fact that they only have a very small nursery and that as much as possible, they believe in rooming the baby with you; it's the university hospital and hence a teaching hospital, which means that they'll always be experts and professors doing rounds and checking in on you; a home care nurse will visit us at home within three days of discharge to make sure that Baby and I are doing well; and security-wise, they have what our friends like to call the Baby LoJack which basically tags the baby with a security chip such that if anyone but the parents tries to take the baby past different parts of the hospital, the whole hospital shuts down, including doors and elevators. It's a great security measure but we're also seeing the potential for a lot of comedy- I'm imagining grandparents or relatives carrying the newborn around and unwittingly setting the system off and inadvertently putting the entire hospital on lockdown ;)

For the little bit of anxiety it caused, I'm still glad we did the tour- it's reassures us once more that all three of us are in good hands; we now know exactly what to do to make sure we get to the hospital and checked in properly when the moment hits us; and little by little, a bit of the mystique and unknown of this whole childbirth/delivery business is slowly being stripped away... :)

6 years...

I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky.

It's been a long time that I'm waiting
Been a long time that I'm blown
been a long time that I've wandered
Through the people I have known
Oh, if you would and you could
Straighten my new mind's eye.

Would you love me for my money
Would you love me for my head
Would you love me through the winter
Would you love me 'til I'm dead
Oh, if you would and you could
Come blow your horn on high.

I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky.
-"Northern Sky", Nick Drake

Northern Sky - Nick Drake

It's getting SO hot in here...

HOT, HOT DAY!
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

I finally understand why people have been giving me that look of abject pity when I tell them I'll be pregnant through the summer. It was 88F (30C) today and I was HOT. No ordinary hot, people- we're talking steaming, sauna-like, heaving, humid, oppressive, feel-all-of-our-baby's-3lbs-weight, I-need-a-shower-as-I'm-walking HOT :( I felt like I was literally lumbering down the street, pitiful, heavy, and melting... Apart from the fact that I'm pregnant, I think it's also because we've actually had fairly cool weather for June so far and the transition to this sweltering heat was just too sudden for me to adjust to. We finally turned the A/C in our room on, and many thanks to our friends Irving and Tarja, we now have a unit downstairs too just waiting to be installed. Oh, and we're (ok, I'm) going through tubs of ice-cream like my life depended on it.

Honestly, this is the first time I've felt genuinely uncomfortable during the pregnancy. It might be a little early to say this (although I *am* only 10 weeks away...), but so far, I've been spared many of the usual ailments I was told to expect- swollen fingers and feet, varicose veins, bulbous nose, putting on weight in all the wrong places, sciatica, bad nausea, stretch marks, etc. I'm mostly enjoying being pregnant actually (except for the whole not being able to eat raw sushi part...) and really grateful that our daughter has been a most pleasant and forgiving tenant :) The heat, though, is really getting to me- I walk slower, our baby feels heavier, and everything's just that degree more uncomfortable (could there be a fabric even lighter than cotton???) And I'm sure the worst is yet to come...

Tomorrow's going to hit 90F. I think I'm going to stay indoors.

Yogi mommies

One of the things I've really been enjoying (and hopefully, so has Baby) is my weekly prenatal yoga sessions. It was wonderful practising yesterday especially on summer solstice, the longest day of the year. Summer's finally here in Ann Arbor and the heat radiating through the studio mirrored the heat radiating through our bodies as we went through our modified downward dogs and warrior IIs. Warrior mommies, Heather my instructor called us, posing strong and rooted for the little cargoes we're holding within us. I love how refreshed and energized I always feel after, but also relaxed and calm, if that makes sense...

And a large part of it is also about being with other would-be moms in various stages of their pregnancy, sharing their stories, and allowing me to look both at how far I've come and also to look forward to the couple of months ahead. There was this one mom who's clearly where I was a couple of months ago in terms of shopping frantically for baby clothes- I was totally onboard with her mania :) She shared with us this website that's designed specifically for yogi mommies (and babies): yoli-poli started as a website selling yoga accessories but now also specializes in organic cotton clothing for children with a particular yoga theme. Check out these cutie tees for slightly older children: triangle pose and tree pose for girls, and warrior II and crow for boys. But my absolute favorites are actually the tees for infants, and all you yogis out there should know exactly why, for instance:


and

Can someone just say TOO PRECIOUS?!! :)

I can't wait...

Those of you who've read and love Audrey Niffenegger's The Time Traveler's Wife will understand why at about 1:22 into the trailer, I-- sitting in the middle of my school's computer lab-- burst into spontaneous tears...

For all my literary pretensions, at the end of the day, nothing moves me like a love story. And The Time Traveler's Wife is an unabashed love story. I remember reading it over summer a couple of years ago and that I had to read at least the last 25 pages twice over because the first time round was through a blur of tears. I finished it at 5.30 in the morning, Jude was still up finishing an assignment, and I had to go give him a hug because the book was just that powerful.

And now, they've brought it to the screen. I've always had reservations about screen adaptations of my favorite novels (see Possession for the ultimate travesty...) but this actually does look promising. I really like Rachel McAdams and while I had a different vision of how Henry should look like (more a cross between Ryan Gosling and Edward Norton), I can live with Eric Bana.

Let's just hope come August 16 when the movie opens, this girl will be still able to waddle her way into the movie theatre... ;)

Eating well

Salmon miso soup
Originally uploaded by ghetto of our mind

As we waddle happily along into the third trimester, I’m trying even harder to make sure I eat well since Baby’s really needing that boost of nutrients and vitamins more than ever right now: Omega-3 for her brain, calcium for her bones and muscle development, iron for heart and nervous system, and a whole bunch of other stuff I’m getting from my prenatal vitamins. Finding time to cook has been a little tricky though, what with teaching through the whole month of June. It’s an intense class and by the time I’m home in the evening, coupled with an increasing level of exhaustion that’s apparently part-and-parcel of the third trimester, I’m too pooped to even walk upstairs to our room, lest of all bustle around the kitchen to put something together. On the other hand, to make things easier, we’ve been getting such fabulously fresh and tasty veggies from our farmshare that I’m constantly inspired to try new things with produce I’ve either never cooked with before like radishes or with more spinach than I’ve ever encountered in a 3 week period…

And so last night, in the midst of a slightly chilly June evening, I decided to try making a salmon miso soup. We’ve been getting really good salmon from Costco and since it’s a great source of Omega-3, I’m frequently trying to integrate it into our meals. Using a dashi stock base and some miso paste, I threw in carrots and potatoes, and the radishes and a bunch of spinach from the farmshare. Just before serving, I added the salmon and some rice vermicelli to make it heartier so that we wouldn’t need to have it with rice. It was warm, comforting, flavorful, and I’m hoping really nourishing for Baby too. More than shopping for onesies, clearing out our wardrobe, or reading to her, eating well is probably one of the best things I can do for our little girl right now. She’s been moving about (and kicking & punching) more vigorously these days and according to our OB, activity is a sign of good health. Yup, it would seem that our little girl’s a feisty one... :)

A child's reaction to the "Where the Wild Things Are' trailer

Trailer Reaction from We Love You So on Vimeo.

I thought that this video capture was an interesting study in a child's visceral reaction to the trailer for Spike Jonze's "Where the Wild Things Are". While I agree that there are obviously movies that are inappropriate for kids, this video shows us that toddlers can be a sophisticated audience of media. There is a lot going on in the trailer and some of it I would have assumed to be inappropriate for children. But as the video above shows, that really isn't the case. I think that there is a lot of scope for research that 1) better takes into account the cognitive capacities of young children and 2) studies that measure the emotional responses to media content.

And also, as you dear reader may notice, our attention is slowly shifting to all things parenthood and child-focused :)

Happy birthday Jude!

Thank god the weather held up. For most of Friday, Saturday, and early Sunday, I was convinced that it was going to literally rain on Jude’s parade, or in this case, his birthday/ baby shower. Yes, baby shower. I don’t think it’s fair that the moms always get fussed over pre-baby and the dad’s just relegated to a supporting role; I mean, we’re both having the baby and he deserves just as much attention. And so I thought it would be a good idea to throw Jude a birthday party/ baby shower to just celebrate him, his last baby-less birthday, and impending fatherhood :) And I think it was pretty successful, with people bring gifts like books on surviving fatherhood, a handbook for caring for babies, a survival kit for first-time dads, and even an REI gift card so that Jude can be the kind of dad that will buy baby Keens and/or teach our daughter to love camping! :) Of course, there were also many generous gifts from our baby registry- thank you everyone!

And let’s not forget the ton of food that was thrown on the grill and that are still chilling in our fridge AND freezer. On the menu last night:
- Spinach-artichoke dip
- Sesame radish salad (made with our farmshare radishes)
- Baguette with homemade olive tapenade (thanks to Eric, Amy and Finn for bringing it- soooo delicious!)
- Ginger-soy marinated chicken wings (marinated for two days so the flavor really came through)
- Havarti cheese stuffed burgers (it was the first time we tried making these and they actually turned out much better than we had expected…)
- Sauteed onions and fennel, and bacon as burger toppings
- Bratwursts (we brought these back from an amazing meat merchant when we were up north over Memorial weekend)
- Lime-lemongrass marinated shrimp and scallop skewers (we bought surprisingly good frozen shrimp and scallops from Costco and marinated these ourselves)
- Grilled asparagus
- Peppers-onions-cremini mushrooms skewers
- Romesco sauce for the grilled veggies (nutty and fruity at the same time, I made this on Saturday with roasted tomatoes and garlic.)

Plus a SPECTACULAR birthday cake that we just had to buy the moment we saw it in the display case at Whole Foods. Eric said it best when I brought it out, “Is that even possible??!!” Ladies and gentlemen, behold the awesomeness of the Burger Birthday Cake!

It has actual layers made of yellow and chocolate cakes, cheese made from fondant, and piped buttercream for mayo, lettuce (ice-berg clearly, from that pale green…), mustard, and ketchup. Pure stupendousness! Considering how much of a novelty cake it was, it was actually surprisingly moist and tasty. See cross-section for full impact. Instead of just taking a picture of the cake, I should have taken one of everyone whipping out their cameras to take photos of the cake... ;)

And to make things all the more special, our friend, Felicia is here to visit from Singapore. The last time she was here was 4 years ago, and it's so wonderful that she's here now with us to hold our hands through all the pre-baby jitters, questions, and to just bless us with her company :)

See rest of photos here.

Sitting pretty

Jude and I were at The Little Seedling last week getting our Moby Wrap and Ergo baby carrier when we chanced upon this wonderful creation: Stokke's TRIPP TRAPP® highchair. We know, our little girl isn't going to need this till she's about 6 months old, but it doesn't hurt to start thinking about these things now... It's a beautiful piece of furniture and Jude and I really do appreciate it when it's obvious that people have put a whole lot of thought into their designs, even for something as seemingly mundane as a highchair. Meant to grow with a child, it's fully adjustable (to the point when an adult can sit in it as well), ergonomically designed, and encourages family interaction because there isn't that extra tray table in front that gets in the way of the baby eating from the table with us. The lack of the tray table also means that she'll have to eat on the dinner table which is something we really want to encourage, instead of in front of the TV or just somewhere random. It also comes in a range of gorgeous colours which is a bonus :)

We're not quite ready to buy it right now but the good thing is that we do have 6 months to save for it, and also to accumulate enough Amazon.com gift vouchers (from our credit card points) to be able to offset some of the cost. Jude's also watching a couple of these high-chairs on eBay, although looking at how quickly the bids are going up, we're better off waiting and then getting a brand new one when the time's right.

Veggies galore!

1. Our first farm share of the season, 2. Finn helping us pick out fingerling potatoes, 3. Picking up the first farm share of the year, 4. Warm asparagus-mushroom salad

After talking about signing up for our first CSA for so long (see here and here), we finally got our first box of veggies from the farmer's market today :) It was a fairly small share but apparently, quite typical for the first of the season (plus we're splitting it with our friends, Tanya and Wil). It was a fun mix of spinach, mizuna, two kinds of radishes, green onions, asparagus, rhubarb, oregano, red lettuce, and fingerling potatoes. To complement our first haul, we also bought a quart of strawberries (for strawberry rhubarb pie/crumble/cobbler!), and some wild elm mushrooms that looked too gorgeous to resist (I really do love mushrooms of any kind...)

I was excited to taste some of the produce so for dinner, I made a warm salad by first slicing the asparagus finely and sauteing them with the mushrooms with butter and olive oil, some garlic, green onions, and white wine, and then tossing that with the red lettuce and vinaigrette (note: with farm share veggies, we were prepared to have to clean them very thoroughly because they're truly organic and unprocessed in any way, a.k.a. Bugs and Dirt Central). The salad was delicious- fresh, lovely lettuce with just that little bitter bite and the asparagus was crisp and crunchy even after having been sauteed for a while. And everything went perfectly with panko-breaded pork cutlets. We're really looking forward to experimenting with the rest of the stuff we got like the rhubarb and radishes which we've never cooked with before. I'll be sure to post about more farm share food adventures so stay tuned... :)

*Update: Strawberry-rhubarb cobbler success! See here :)

Our little girl's tunes III: Her own iTunes iMix playlist

Just based on the last few times we've put the headphones on my belly and the countless occasions during which she's kicked responsively when I was just listening to music in general (like *right now*...), we've come to the conclusion that the little chipmunk might just really enjoy music :) And since one of the things we registered for is a Fisher-Price DwellStudio bouncer with its own iPod connection, we thought it might a cool idea to make her her own iTunes iMix playlist (on top of the several albums we've already set aside for her- see here, here, and here.) Think of it as a mix-tape for the 21st century ;) We're also contemplating burning it into CDs as a thank-you gift for our showers.

Less music for her, but also music about her and about us already being in love with her, the collection is a mix of some of our favorite songs. I didn't want anything cheesy like "Butterfly Kisses" or predictable like "Isn't She Lovely" which is why many of the tracks probably aren't conventional in terms of baby songs. But they each carry our hopes and wishes for her, whether it's that she'll always remember the infinity of our love for her no matter how fallible we know we are and will always be, that she will blossom and grow up strong in spite of adversity and unhappiness, or that she will always see all that is beautiful and magical in the world she's about to come into.

Enough...

Ok, I really should stop shopping for the baby. Every time I buy something for her, I tell myself it'll be the last one, and then I'll stumble on something else and say the exact same thing. Like this kimono onesie that was on sale at Elephant Ears in Kerrytown. I lurve the awesome color and groovy print. Plus it'll be a cinch to wear because it literally wraps around her.

I'm beginning to think our little girl has too many clothes already- the little section of our closet that we set aside for her is practically bursting, what with the clothes her grandparents and aunts have bought her (and I *know* more baby shopping is in the works for her two excited aunts...), our Oliebollen score last month, and pieces here and there from my office shower and friends (like this adorable vintage linen smock from Dot). And that's the thing about having a girl- everything's so adorable that you want to buy them all. Ok, but I shall go on record here on the blog and vow to not buy anymore clothes for her... at least not till after the two more showers we have coming up and the state of our registries after... :)

Our little girl's tunes II: John Coltrane- A Love Supreme

Ok, so I probably should have either warned her ahead of time or started with the volume softer, but I didn't and I think I might have startled our little girl with that first trumpet blast (although I personally wouldn't quite use the word "blast"...) Jude recently got a pair of Sennheiser headphones (I call them his Princess Leia headphones) and he thought it would be a good idea to prop it on my belly to play something for the baby tonight. His first choice- John Coltrane's A Love Supreme. Something about the grace and transcendence of the suite seems particularly appropriate for the occasion :)

After an initial jab (and I mean a real*jab*) right behind my belly button with the opening of Part I, she seemed to settle down a little. Jude's imagining the amniotic fluid amplifying the music in there and that our little girl is virtually buoyed in her own personal concert hall surrounded by the strains of Coltrane and his quartet. I think her favorite part is between 1:56 and 4:16 of Part 3 when the piano solo kicks in- there was definitely heightened kicking... ;)

A Love Supreme, Part 1: Acknowledgement - John Coltrane

A Love Supreme, Part III: Pursuance - John Coltrane Quartet

The perfect salad

A couple of years ago, I posted something about what wonderfully scrumptious entrees salads can be, especially as the warmer weather approaches (not tonight though, what with the frost advisory and all...). For lunch today, I think I stumbled on what might be the perfect salad combination- fresh, bright, flavorful, hearty, healthy, and doesn't make me feel like a bunny who just chomped through a cabbage patch. It's actually inspired by the Cyprus Salad at Zingerman's and starts with our favorite salad cheese, halloumi, a pungent, salty Cypriot cheese that becomes all gooey and squeaky when you pan-fry it.

Salad ingredients:
- One package of halloumi (just under half a pound is usually enough for Jude and I- it's a hearty cheese...). We buy ours either from the Middle Eastern markets or Whole Foods.
- Salad leaves (we like a mixture of romaine and arugula)
- 2 fresh tomatoes (vine-ripen or heirloom if available)
- Handful of pitted Kalamata olives, 5 or 6 per person (ours is brined in water and olive oil)
- Slices of red onions or chopped green onions

Dressing:
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon lemon juice or red wine vinegar
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/4 teaspoon salt
Dash of pepper
A squirt of honey (I know, I try to be exact in my recipes...)
Lemon zest (don't leave out!)

1. Slice halloumi into about 1/2 inch slices. Dry excess moisture. Heat non-stick pan to medium heat.
2. As pan is heating, assemble salad and dressing (except lemon zest) separately.
3. Pan-fry halloumi in oil-less pan. Don't worry about the moisture that will start bubbling; it'll evaporate and you'll get a lovely toasty exterior- about 4 to 5 minutes on the first side and just a couple of minutes on the other. Don't let it burn or the halloumi will get tough.
4. Just before the halloumi is ready, dress the salad. Plate the halloumi on the salad, and sprinkle lemon zest over.
5. Serve with a chunk of good bread and smidgen of butter (Plugrá preferably...)

I've made halloumi salads many times before (see picture here with mangoes and mesclun) but I think today's combination of the olives, lemon zest, and Greek dressing went especially well with the punchy saltiness of the cheese. And it really filled us up till the evening. Testimony to how yummy it was- I forgot to take a photo... :)

The Proust Questionnaire

Since the trend of memes hit blogs and Facebook a couple of years ago, I think I've done my fair share of soul-searching and public self-exposure. But I have to say that this one was tough. The Proust Questionnaire-- popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust in the late 19th century-- is supposed to reveal an individual's truest nature. James Lipton often gives an adapted version to his guests on Bravo's Inside the Actor's Studio and periodically, there's a section devoted to celebrities' responses to the questions on Vanity Fair. I always feel as if I should be clever or witty when answering these types of questions but for this one, I've really tried to be as honest as possible, which I think is also what made it so hard.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Shared love, genuine laughter, and good food.

2. What is your greatest fear?
That I won't be a good mom.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My need to be liked.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Not so much deplore, but I get impatient with people who only like to talk about themselves.

5. Which living person do you most admire?
Aung San Suu Kyi

6. What is your greatest extravagance?
A good haircut.

7. What is your current state of mind?
Hopeful

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Being nice.

9. On what occasion do you lie?
When someone asks me if they look fat in an outfit. So don't ask me.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My feet.

11. Which living person do you most despise?
I don't think despising someone is a very healthy attitude to have.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
The absence of chauvinism or machismo. And the courage to cry.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Self-assuredness, the kind of confidence that makes you so secure about yourself that you don't need to be mean, catty, or unkind to other women to make yourself feel better.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"I'm sorry."

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Jude.

16. When and where were you happiest?
Sometime in 2001 when I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with #15.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?
Self-control. And to play jazz piano.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
To be braver.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I'd like to think that it hasn't happened yet. It gives me hope and makes me work harder.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
I kinda like being me, so I'd like to be me again, please.

21. Where would you most like to live?
Anywhere where I'd be surrounded by my family and loved ones.

22. What is your most treasured possession?
My health.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
To not be surrounded by people whom I love and who love me.

24. What is your favorite occupation?
Making lists. Grocery lists, Things-To-Do lists, baby names lists, etc...

25. What is your most marked characteristic?
That I smile a lot.

26. What do you most value in your friends?
Honesty and loyalty, which I realize can be mutually exclusive.

27. Who are your favorite writers?
Shakespeare and Shel Silverstein. And the people who write for The Today Show.

28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
I really wanted to have a good answer for this, but as of right now, I really don't have a clue.

30. Who are your heroes in real life?
Anyone who spends their lives bettering the plight of others.

31. What are your favorite names?
Chloe, Eliot, Emma, Liam, Noah, Sophie

32. What is it that you most dislike?
Cruelty and bigotry.

33. What is your greatest regret?
Every occasion when I did something I knew beforehand I shouldn't but did it anyway.

34. How would you like to die?
Content.

35. What is your motto?
"This too, shall pass."